Defense - Blake Bortles.You know why.Sp | Forum

Sports Illustrated grades the Texans’ offseason." />Skip to main contentclockmenumore-arrownoyesHorizontal - WhiteBattle Red Bloga Houston Texans communityLog In or Sign UpLog InSign UpFanpostsFanshotsTexansOddsAboutMastheadCommunity GuidelinesStubHubMoreAll 322 blogs on Horizontal - WhiteFanposts Fanshots Texans StoriesScheduleRosterStatsYahoo Texans NewsYahoo Texans Team PageYahoo Texans ReportYahoo Texans Depth ChartYahoo Texans TransactionsYahoo Texans PhotosOdds About Masthead Community Guidelines StubHub ✕Filed under:2019 Houston Texans OffseasonSports Illustrated Analyzes The Texans’ Offseason PerformanceNew Jordan Thomas Jersey ,23commentsSports Illustrated grades the Texans’ offseason.CDTShareTweetShareShareSports Illustrated Analyzes The Texans’ Offseason PerformancePhoto by Al Bello/Getty ImagesThis is the time of year that news is particularly scarce. Speculation is rampant and people are typing words with little to no intent other than content filler, so it’s no surprise that the “Offseason Reports” are still coming strong. Over at Sports Illustrated, they did a piece on the AFC South.Here are a few tidbits regarding your Houston Texans:Not quite sure that’s a consensus opinion, but it’s worth discussing. Next up, areas still in need:And then Brandon Dunn Jersey , the ginormous question mark:What do you think? Agree?Disagree? Still have aspirations for omore roster moves? Want Clowney on lock? The BRB gang watch the Texans’ regular season finale and have some choice thoughts about the game.Read them here."It seems difficult to believe that a team that started so poorly this year is not only going to the playoffs but will host a home game in the Wild Card round.But the Texans are.It seems difficult to imagine that this team would reel off nine straight wins in some of the most screwball ways possible.But the Texans did.It seems strange that this would all happen with essentially the same team (save for Deshaun Watson) who won all of four games last year.But that’s what happened for the Texans.So, here we are ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the playoffs.May our stay be long and enjoyable and full of fish.This also means at least one more Hair of the Dog this season, so let’s get through this one.That way, we can dream about the Texans’ playoff possibilities.On to the dog.As always Dylan Cole Jersey , in finest Hair of the Dog tradition, all swear words have been replaced with the word [kitten] to make this post safe for work.And because children might read this and while I don’t particularly care if children learn to swear, I know some of y’all might, and I’d rather not get letters about it.Enjoy!Pregame ThoughtsMDCtGCUTKenneth L.MDCUT (to tGC)tGC (to UT)WestonFirst QuarterMDCWeston(Glitter Kitties punt to the Texans.Carter is hit by a Jags defender, causing the ball to jostle out of his hands and be recovered by Jacksonville.)UTCapt Ron(Refs pick up flag for roughing.)UTKenneth L.(Jags challenge the ruling on the field of Texans’ ball.Call is overturned Trevor Daniel Jersey , Jags get first and goal.)UTWeston(Refs...I mean Jags score a field goal, lead 3-0.)Capt RonWestonUTMDC (to UT)(Watson gets ball into end zone for touchdown...)UT(Refs overturn Watson touchdown.)BFDUTCapt RonWeston(Texans kick a field goal, game is tied 3-3.)UTKenneth L.Capt RonWestonUT (to Capt Ron)[Ed. Note:I just remembered curling does not have human officiating technically.We regret the error.]LukeWestonBFDMDC(Glitter Kitties muff the punt, Texans recover.)UTLukeUTMDC(Watson runs the ball into the end zone for the touchdown.Texans lead 10-3.)Luke[Ed. Note:It is.]WestonSecond QuarterLukeCapt RonUTWestonLukeCapt RonWestonCapt RonUT(Lamar Miller runs a touchdown in for the Texans on the next play.Texans lead 17-3.)Capt RonBrettUTLuke (to UT)Capt Ron (to UT)MDC (to UT)(Watson is sacked.)Capt RonHalftime ReactionsUTBFDKenneth L.MDCBFDWestonUT (to Weston)WestonCapt RonUTThird QuarterCapt RonCapt RonBrettBFDKenneth L.BFDCapt RonUTWeston[Ed. Note:Like [kitten] we don’t.]Capt RonBFDBrett (to Capt Ron)WestonFourth QuarterBFDWestonBFDCapt RonBFD(Texans kick a field goal, negated by roughing call against Jacksonville Natrell Jamerson Jersey , keeps drive alive only to stall again for the same field goal.Texans lead 20-3.)UTCapt RonUTCapt Ron(Ramsay picks off Hopkins...)UT(...But is called incomplete after review.)UTCapt RonUTMDCUT (to MDC)(Andre Hal picks off Bortles in the end zone.)BFDUTCapt RonMDC (to UT)(With less than five minutes left, Texans begin running plays that take them out of bounds frequently.)MDCBFDUTMDCUTCapt RonBFD(Houston Texans win 20-3, win the AFC South.)UTGame BallsOffense - Deshaun Watson is our offense and our offense is Deshaun Watson.So a game ball for him.Defense - Blake Bortles.You know why.Special Teams - A fresh game ball for The Hardest Working Man In Football, Ka’imi Fairbairn.That’s that, folks.Got anything you want to add to this championship-calibre dog?Add your thoughts to the comments section below!